Conditional Claws

If I fail to feel connected

To your hymns for him

And if I cannot feel the love

In each and every limb

Anymore

If I struggle hard to hide

My disgust from you

And if my heavy arms won't wave

As freely as yours do

Anymore

If I have unlearned by heart

The lyrics to your song

If I don't feel the inspiration

To dance and sing along

Anymore

If it tears my soul apart

To believe in souls

And if I can't abandon that

Which – deep within – controls

Anymore

And if it's always been this way

– It needs to be confessed –

Indeed, it can't be all my fault

For I have done my best

And cannot do

Any more